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I find that a steadydiet of sex with Renee, prostitutes, and myself usually does thetrick.However, over the last several months, the intensity of the demandfor release has increased almost daily. It has gotten to the pointwhere I masturbate almost continuously. I only slow down for thepretense of trying to do my job as the director of a marketingcompany. I am a practical man though. I realize that my disease (asI thought of it now) was probably becoming common knowledge in bothmy social and business life. I had been to several doctors who toldme about priaprism which affects only males. They recommended femalehormones or surgery. I, so far, have rejected those possibilities asI have no wish to become a feminine looking man or have a nonfunctioning penis!Having cleaned myself up to my satisfaction and realizing that as theboss I could (and probably should) take a three day weekend, I left.The only thing that keeps the demons at bay is being out in theopen. I still have enough self. ." Genitals? Private parts?" I sputtered."Yes. Genitals. This is custom. No?" Kalani asked, obviously confused by my reaction.No! I wanted to scream!Epinephrine, which is also known as adrenaline, is a hormone that increases the heart rate, constricts blood vessels, and dilates air passages in preparation of the fight-or-flight response of the sympathetic nervous system. It was flooding my systems now as my natural instincts about having sharp razors anywhere near the family jewels told me to run!I'm not really sure why I didn't take off like a bat outta hell, but I seemed to be paralyzed for a moment. I tried to relax, but all I could think about was ending up like Gerald! I think that Kalani recognized my fear, because she started talking to me very gently."Michael," Kalani said softly. "We're just going to remove the hair. I promise we won't hurt you."Everyone has fears. Now you know mine. I was so afraid that I was just about to run away, or if necessary, fight."But fight for.
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